Yesterday was my last day at work. I was laid off 7 working days ago when my boss asked me to step into his office and proceeded to tell me all the reasons how it wasn’t me, it was him…and how maybe there would be a possibility for us to work together again in the future, that right now it was just bad timing and that he just couldn’t afford to pay me anymore (wow, that sounded like how I’ve ended relationships). Of course, just as my ex’s do when I tell them that, I freaked out a bit. I cried. I fetal’d up and rocked back and forth for an hour or so…in the dark. It was kind of sadly funny, because the day before, I’d hurt my foot running around the seawall. Something called Plantar Fasciitis (wiki: Plantar fasciitis is a syndrome of heel pain due to inflammation of the thick ligament of the base of the foot. A tight, inflamed plantar fascia can cause pain when walking or running, and lead to the formation of a heel spur. ) And that morning, it was nice out but it’d started raining heavily during the day. So here I was, freshly laid off, limping home in the rain with no umbrella. I could almost hear the violins, serenading my tragedy.
That was it though. When I’d gotten home from the walk, I’d let all my anger, sadness and negativity out already. It’d washed away with the rain dripping down my temples. I let myself go for a bit, I let myself wander and lose all hope, to be really sad, to be really angry and be the victim for a bit. I told myself I was screwed, I told myself it was the end, that I was done. It felt good. It felt like a relief to be a victim, to know that there was nothing you could do and that you just had to accept what was. But once the feeling subsided, it never came back. It’s funny how that works. When my ex and I broke up, I’d run into some random things and feelings welled up inside of me. Memories flooded my mind and I’d get emotional about it. But the next time I’d run into the random thing, the feelings never came back. It was a one time thing. I think from that, I’d learned that if you hold things in, push it to the back of your head, it never goes away. But if you let it take you over and control you for a powerful short time, it will leave you and never come back.
I made a few calls. I applied at a few places. I broke it down to one small step at a time, one doable task at a time, leaving my doomsday thoughts out of it, but just concentrating on one step at a time. Today I had my final interview with a company and throughout this week, I’d had several. I have 3 offer letters in front of me, all equally attractive. I had a CEO come into the 2nd interview and try to close me on why I should work for his company. I had a Director challenge me in foosball on my way out because he wanted to show me how great of a culture his company had. This last 7 days have been amazingly busy but well worthwhile. Now, I’ll have a week or so off of work (a mini vacation!! woo!) and my pick of futures to walk towards.
In the words of Johnny Drama, VICTORRRYYYY!!! And like Drama, I couldn’t have done it without my friends. They kept me up, they kept me motivated and they let me know that I really wasn’t that screwed. 😉 Thank you.