I love Halloween. People dress up, they spend days planning and making their costumes (some Halloween enthusiasts spend months), and it’s a night where you can literally be anyone else or dress like anything and get away with it. Girls wear the skanky version of nurses, cops and Disney characters and look absolutely amazing. They dress up like vampires and pilots and one year my friend put on a gold catsuit and carried around a mini gold shovel and called herself a gold digger all night. Guys loved it. They were throwing their gold at her. I’m poor so I only threw a few quarters her way and maybe a shot of JD. How fun is it to party dressed as someone else and vicariously live through that costume for one night? Not only that but it’s amazing to see some of the costumes some people come up with for October 31st. But what happens when you think Halloween is every day of the year?
Number 8: Fake Goths
Ok wow. I don’t know about this one. It’s not Comicon. Do you work? How do you find a job? Or do you just scare people out of their money all day long by scowling at them and threatening to kick them with your crazy thigh high buckled 5 inch heel boots? If you walked into my office looking for a job, I would turn you away. I would lock my doors so you couldn’t even speak to the receptionist. I understand that you are full of angst and torment, and that your life sucks and you want to express your deep down murderous rage for all people by dressing like a gay vampire, but maybe people would treat you nicer if you didn’t look like you wanted to rip the heads off of their cats and drink their blood. What do you do on Halloween? Do you dress normal to fool people? I bet at a Halloween goth party, you’re all dressed like preppies. And then I see the Goths who walk around smiling and laughing with their friends who are dressed normal. Ok, now that’s a fashion disaster. You’re not even Goth! You’re not even Emo! WTF. Do you dress like that for fun? At least the real ones have a semi-devil worshiping tendancy. But you, you’re just a wannabe gay vampire, and who wants to be a gay vampire?? Maybe you thought the boots were cool when they were on sale at Aldo warehouse. (They’re on sale for a reason, nobody wants them). They might look nice on a stripper in Vegas, but walking around Brentwood mall with your matching pleather long jacket just makes you look like an extra from Matrix. And that wasn’t even filmed here. And that was like 10 years ago. You’re not fooling anyone.