Screw This…

Working a 9 to 5 is highly over-rated and so is earning a paycheque. People base so much of their lives on their job and forget that living isn’t about working, it’s about living. How then, can we combine the joy of living with the need for an income? A dream job?

A dream job is an outlet where you achieve and feel fulfilled. You want a dream job because you want to feel like you are making a difference and you’re making a difference when you are helping other people. After all, isn’t that all a job is? People pay you to do something for them or provide them with something, tangible or not.

If you help other people get what they want, and allow them to see the value in what you offer, you in turn will get everything you want and feel fulfilled.

You have been living someone else’s life, achieving someone else’s goals.

whole timeIt’s time to set your own rules, to play your own game. To have the courage to say “I will not settle anymore and I am tired of listening to other people.” When you do this, you set your own standards and you are able to enjoy the process of life and appreciate when you have achieved your goal. Imagine yourself living by your own standards and the freedom that comes with it. This sounds easy right? Just quit your job and travel the world, go on shopping sprees, play hockey all day and party all night. Oh wait, we need money, I guess we still need to work. But while work is a necessary part of life, unhappy or unfulfilled work doesn’t need to be part of the deal.

Success is much easier than fulfillment. Why? Because success is external and fulfillment is internal. It is much more challenging to identify your own standards than to borrow those of others, of what society places on us. The real benefit of stealing other people’s standards is that if you fail, you can blame them and not yourself. This is the benefit, but is it really that great when it comes with the price tag of failure just because it comes prepackaged with a scapegoat? There is no long term fulfillment with external motivators.

I QUITMy buddy is an Account Executive for a fortune 100 software company (as I once was) and travels across North America. He has week stays in New York, dining with clients. Travels to LA, San Fran, Austin, and even Raleigh North Carolina (which have some of the nicest people in the States by the way). He makes a great income, has car and cell phone allowances, company credit cards, stock options, the works. But he’s miserable. No matter how much money he makes or how many interesting projects he is working on, he’s always thinking about what he doesn’t have and he’s always thinking of that because he’d rather be doing something else.

He’s achieving success externally, but hardly fulfilled internally. A dream job is where both your talents and interests collide. Your talents will allow you to achieve, and your interests will allow you to be fulfilled. The real trick is to do what you love, what you have passion for and still be able to monetize it. Sounds easy right? We all know it’s not or else all we’d see on Monday mornings are smiley happy faces, eager and ready to start the week. But instead Mondays suck. To those of you who are making a living that is comfortable for you and allows you freedom to express your creativity, knowledge and interests, I envy you. To those of you who are brave enough to say “Screw this, I quit. Life’s too short to be spending 9 hours a day unhappy.” and take a plunge into the unknown for a chance of something better, I salute you. To those of you who stay at your positions, moping day in and day out, complaining that your life sucks while doing nothing about it, I pity you.

Listen. Screw this. I quit.


Love Letter

Hi Baby,

…I just wanted to write and tell you that I miss you. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you or heard from you but I’m sure you think of me sometimes, as much as I think of you. It’s funny, how time seems to fly by these days. Sometimes it’s fun, others it’s not. I am always busy and keep myself that way and most of the time I try not to think about you, but you always seem to creep back into my mind at the oddest times. There’s so much I want to tell you about, so much I want to share with you. I want to tell you every single story of mine and make you laugh at me, with me. I want to hear all of your memories and watch you get excited at the happy ones and sad at the sad ones. But no matter how happy or sad you get, I want to be here with you. As independent as I am, you know I’ve never really been very good at taking care of myself. I’d much rather take care of someone else, and I seem to neglect myself in that process. You were always good at filling that part of me and taking care of me. We make a great team, don’t you think? Sometimes when I sleep, I picture you lying beside me, what you would look like as I stroke your hair, calming you to sleep. All these dreams are in my sleep and I wonder if you dream the same dreams.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. Been a while since I’ve embraced you and felt your arms around my shoulders tightly, never willing to let me go, always asking me to stay just 5 more minutes. The way you look at me when I have to go always makes me want to just drop everything and stay with you. But it’s hard to stay with you when I don’t even know you.

I have never met you.

I have never heard your voice.

We haven’t met yet. You’re just the girl in my dreams that makes me never want to wake up and when I do, I laugh at myself at how silly I’m being for thinking that maybe, just maybe if I dream hard enough you’ll appear one day. Maybe I’ll find you at Chapters, browsing through the fictions. Maybe I’ll accidently knock your coffee over at Starbucks, because you know how clumsy I am. Maybe randomly, our friends will introduce us. But until then, stay happy and keep dreaming. Until then, I’ll just meet you in our dreams and when you see me, you’ll recognize me.



Those piles of SH*T are going FAST!

What happens when businesses sell to the average American online consumer with an IQ of 98:

"HEY I got an IDEA!
 You buy some of the crap I'm selling on how to get rich and
Ill buy some that crap your selling on how to get confident...
 Tell you what if you buy some of my crap today and today only...
 I throw in a nice steaming pile of Bullshit with it....
 I bet your saying WOW!

 I dont offer that pile of steaming bullshit to just anyone....
 I am offering it to you because you have kept reading and seem
like a REAL sucker and you will buy anything to try to get
rich overnight,

 So the longer you keep reading the more you will get sucked
into my bullshit, deeper and deeper, as I convince you with
random stories of success from people that you will never
know or can even talk to!

 "Today only, two for the price of one, but you have to act fast...
..those piles of SHIT are going FAST!"
 Should get you to whip out that already maxed out card for a glimmer
of hope that this steaming pile of Bullshit your gonna buy will make
you rich. Who cares that you were laid off last month or that you're
on a pension! We can help you with that.

 after we charge you a monthly membership fee every month
for the VERY low price of 59.95!

 NOT tomorrow or the next day,
Ill send you emails for the rest of your life with of my CRAP

Look for our constant sales pitches I will be sending via emails,
to try to sell you more shit for years to come.
 If you would like to unsubscribe,
 Here is a link that doesnt work cause when you try to unsubscribe
 I will just sell your email to someone else
 and maybe youll buy some of the BULLSHIT they are selling?!?"

s&mThis email pretty much sums up how the majority of high ticket item business to consumer sales go. Used cars, low end software, boiler room stocks, bond lotteries, customized business mentoring, life coaching Tony Robbins seminars, all that and a bag of 99 cent chips. After you’re done the $9,750 seminar, you walk out pumped and ready to take life head on! Make a difference! Change the world! but all you’ll ever get for your return on investment is $0.99 for the bag of All Dressed Doritos and some Bread Garden sandwiches for lunch.

The former client that wrote that email was able to see through the haze and hype. See through the slick tongued, moral-less sales people that pitch them and overpromise just to underdeliver. I guess it takes experience to see through it and it probably takes first hand experience to be able to sit down, write out such a well thought spiteful letter and send it. Kudos. This American probably had a higher IQ than his fellow patriots which is sadly the majority. And think of how many companies like this there are out there, successful, turning profits and growing.



Friday Boys Night

hockey pool draft night

hockey pool draft night

For the past 6 years, every Friday was boys night. Some nights we would rent out an ice rink and have a game of pick up hockey with 26 other buddys , some nights we’d go to Earls and have a few beers while watching the Canucks, but the majority of the nights were just spent chilling at my place downtown playing Xbox, everything from Gears of War to MotoGP to NHL 2k/EA (I challenge anyone to Guitar Hero…be ready to be pwnd!). To give you an idea of how much we played, we’ve gone through 4 Xbox’s and 3 Red Rings of Death…in 5 years. All you guys reading this are going “Aw hells ya, that sounds like fun.” and most girls are probably rolling their eyes at how gay we are.  But Friday was boys night and it meant that after a long week of working in our offices, dealing with targets and quotas and submitting expenses and managers meetings and having to listen to your whiny coworker talk about her sock fetish, Friday was here, and it was time to relax.

Now, you’re thinking. Why can’t you relax with girls too? Why is it just boys night? At the time we all had girlfriends and we hung out with them Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays to Thursdays, so Fridays was just chill night. Not that we couldn’t chill with our girlfriends, but it was different when you’re just chillin with the boys. You want to sleep in until 5pm? While your girlfriend is knocking on your door because ‘it’s a nice day and you shouldn’t waste it sleeping’, your boys don’t care, they’re probably still sleeping too.


My boys are like my brothers. As tight as a family could be, we are. We fight each other like brothers, bicker like family, make fun of each other, get pissed off at each other, and when it counts the most, we have each others back every time. Sometimes it’s to give 3 weeks of your time to help someone renovate their apartment and sometimes it’s having to call Popo on a domestic dispute because one of your boy’s ex girlfriends was over trashing his place and threatening suicide and sometimes it’s just to throw the football around. On the first of this month 2 of my boys moved to Austin Texas for work. Austin? Ya. Austin. What the hell is out in Austin? A whole lot of football apparently. It’s kind of weird not having them around. Shin’s been my boy since high school and was my roomate for 5 years. And Chucky I saw pretty much every second day for 7 years and gives awesome advice. Curtis has been my best friend since we were 20 (who the hell is that white guy singing a Chinese song at Mings??) He’s a Vancouver lifer too so at least he’s not moving. When you’re as tight with your friends as we are, you’ll understand that when you’re with your closest friends and family, you’re the most relaxed. They already know your worst traits, been through countless shitstorms and rock bottoms with you and they’re still your friend. There’s nothing else you could say or do that would have them renounce you, so you’re just…you. Not the you that’s the son, the daughter, the boyfriend, the girlfriend, the colleague. None of those masks are on, and there’s no one you need to be other than you. That’s pretty stress free.

Lost in Translation

When I was a kid, I didn’t travel much. My parents, sister and I would take road trips to San Francisco or Edmonton, but that was about as far South and East as we’d really gone (other than trips to Malaysia to visit all of our family). My sister and I would sit in the back seat and sing songs (Puuuffff the magic draaaagon lived by the sea…) and read Archie comics while our parents drove. Not only until a few years ago did I start traveling and expanding my scope of the world. Having been to Sydney, Cabo, Waikiki, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Beijing, and Toronto (yes Toronto) over the past 2 years, did I realize that there are actually *gasp* other cultures outside of my Vancouverite shell. The food, the people, the sites and most of all the languages that people spoke were all different and unique and it really puts an excitement to exploring new things.

WatermelonWhen I was in Beijing in June, my friends and I were at an outdoor food market. My mandarin is so-so and I walked up to a drink vendor and asked if they had any watermelon juice. She looked at me confused and then handed me some straws. I said no, WAT-ER-MELON JUICE (in slow, drawn out broken mandarin). She handed me more straws. When you’re interacting with people, there’s a lot of differences in what they perceive your meaning as versus what you are actually trying to say. The spoken language is an easy one to determine as you either get it or you don’t, but what about other types of languages? Could the meaning of intention be misunderstood as well if two people don’t speak the same language? I read this book called ‘The 5 languages of Love’ by Gary Chapman (Yes I’m a guy and I will read everything you put in front of me).

In every type of relationship you have, whether it be with your wife, boyfriend, sister, father, aunt, colleague, teammate, etc, you are interacting with another human bean. They were raised differently than you, taught differently than you, experienced different experiences than you and that all makes them as unique as you are (Unless you’re Henrik and Daniel, then you’re just the same person cloned). This also means that they most likely will perceive things differently than you. People often misunderstand each other and take offense when no offense was meant. This is most common between couples as ego and emotions are heavier in romantic relationships than in friendships and you expect more from your partner than you would your colleague. Just as in the spoken language, people need to learn the other person’s language if you want to effectively communicate your message across to them.

WTH is this supposed to mean?!

WTH is this supposed to mean?!

In the book, Chapman describes how a couple who are really deeply in love with one another, don’t feel it from their partner, even though the emotions are really there. They are simply just speaking different languages and can’t communicate the message across. Frustration and resentment sets in and we all know it goes downhill from there. Shame. Here are the 5 languages as described: Quality time, Words of Affirmation, Physical touch, Acts of service and Gifts.

Imagine if your parents had always shown you that they cared for you by picking up little things for you on their way home from work. A card, a toy, a slurpee on a hot day. You were constantly reminded that they loved you because they had a surprise for you all the time. And when you grow into an adult, you show your partner that you care for them by doing the same, but they never return that sentiment. Or what if you cared for your girlfriend and you always wanted to spend time with her; make her dinner, take her to new places and explore new things, watch tv together, and just be in the same place giving her your undivided attention. To the girl, she might feel trapped, suffocated because her boyfriend wants to be with her all the time. She doesn’t feel loved though, because he’s not surprising her with things all the time. And to the guy, his girlfriend may shower him with gifts, but he doesn’t feel cared for because when they’re together, she is always cracking out on her berry or somewhere mentally distant and not truly with him. They care for each other, but don’t share the same language.

Just like when you travel and learn Japanese before you go to Japan, people should learn what their partners language is so it doesn’t get lost in translation. While the good intent is always there, the meaning of it often will get gobbled up and spit out because of each individuals experiences up to the point that they met you. Don’t hand your girlfriend a straw when she’s asking for watermelon juice.

Not exactly blog topic pic worthy, but she's cute (and probably speaks a different language than me in more than one way)

Not exactly blog topic pic worthy, but she's cute (and probably speaks a different language than me in more than one way)

I Used to have a 6 Pack


Ahh…good ol’ Winter blues. In the summer all the beach bodies come out and sexy people are everywhere. I used to run at least 30k a week (also when I lived downtown, the seawall was awesome to run on a sunny Saturday morning, now running up and down Boundary isn’t so spectacular spectacular), go to abs classes, cardio bootcamps, rollerblade, bike, and now it’s getting cold and all those fun in the sun play dates are now better left for movies inside with the fireplace on. BUT. Winter is back and with it comes hockey. HELLS YA BABY. New season, new league, new team and we’re kickin ass. The 6 pack will stay under the jersey until next summer…but the beers in my hand. and now I got a 5 pack.


(Shameless Self Promotion: for all your gear needs)

Dating and Business Tips from a Single Guy: Issue 1

In some of my earlier posts, I said how I think relationships and business are interchangeable when it comes to best practices. As a businessman and a single guy, the two topics really fascinate me. I try to be the best business practitioner I can and become successful by reading, studying and always expanding my knowledge in the world of buying and selling and I also find interaction between people to be wildly interesting. The more I looked into it, the more I found connections between the two, so here’s my new lines of postings! Dating and Business Tips from a Single Guy.

[Easy or Desperate?]

village bicycleThere was a girl I knew a few years back (my ex made me stop being friends with her) who was a slut. I knew at least 8 guys who had been with her and heard stories about a dozen more. Everyone knew her though, and she was a nice girl. She had a few close girlfriends and people generally liked her. There wasn’t anything bad you could say about her, other than she was like Dan Cloutier in the playoffs, everyone gets to score.

There was another girl I knew who always went through boyfriends. I swear she probably scoured Asian Avenue and Facebook and poked every guy available. These guys would always turn out to mistreat her and after a couple months of bad, awkward, make up sex, they’d break up and she’d be on the prowl again hooking up with the first guy to exhale in her direction. Girls would always look at her with sadness in their eyes, claiming that she always found the wrong guy and that she deserved better.

First off, why is it always the guy that gets blamed? I don’t think she’d make a good girlfriend anyway and it takes 2 to do the horizontal tango. Secondly, these two girls have probably slept with the same number of guys except one does it freely and the other hides behind bad relationships to do it when it should have been a one night stand to begin with. One was Easy, the other was Desperate. The two are really interchangeable by definition of action. What makes the difference is the attitude. Desperateness is just sad, but if you’re easy at least it’s a choice. Attitude makes the world of difference and changes perspectives viewed from the outside. If you’re going to give it up, at least do it confidently and proudly.

this-relationship-is-doomedIn the world of business, it’s the same. I look at having a job as being in a relationship, and being unemployed is the same as being single. *Disclaimer: Not that I find being in a relationship a job, but rather that there’s commitment, responsibilities, and accountability involved as well. (Nice save Pi!) If you accept the first job offer that comes your way without thought into your own personal needs and wants from that career, it’s not going to work out in the long run. You need to make sure that both the career is right for you and that you are right for that opportunity and not just take it because it was given to you. At the same time, you shouldn’t apply to every job and then quit after working there a day either. Sooner or later no company will want to hire you because of your track record. Even if you don’t sleep with any of them, all those guys you string along makes you look bad too.

Ideally you want to work at a company for a few years and build up your experience (You want to be in a relationship that is solid and lets you grow as a person.) Eventually if things don’t work out, you quit/break up because you’re not happy, you deserve better or because you’re underappreciated. If you’ve built up a strong enough resume; meaning you’ve been faithful, you’ve been supportive, people see that your relationship was great and due to circumstances it just didn’t work out, your chances of finding a great next career/relationship is that much better.

But don’t be desperate. And don’t be easy. Employers/Prospective significant others can smell that and instead of getting the call back for a 2nd interview/date, you’ll just be mulling over whether the ringer in your phone was accidently turned onto silent when really, it just didn’t ring.