Cancer

It’ll never happen to me. I see it on the news all the time but they’re just strangers. I hear about it but never really paid much attention to it. Those were all things I’d said before about cancer. It was like watching a movie on war in Iraq, it seems so surreal and fictional because it’s a world away, it’s not our neighborhood that is being bombed. It’s not us that’s doing the shooting, the killing, the dying. Unfortunately the soldiers coming home in body bags is very real and so is cancer. It’s an ugly, messy, dirty disease. My little sister was diagnosed with Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma last week after months of illness.  

 It’s weird how much you notice something when it’s right there in front of your face. It’s not just in front of me now though. It’s screaming at me aggressively, dangerously close. I try to flinch and move away but I can’t, I’m stuck in this spot, this position and I can’t move. It’s like my feet are encased in solid cement and there is a heavy fog around me. I can feel it lurking just beyond my reach, snarling and growling, but I can’t see it and I’m helpless against it. I was scared and angry, emotionally drained. I can’t even begin to imagine how she must feel.

 

She’s the strongest person I know. She’s travelled around the world by herself and with friends and family and been to places I could only wish to visit one day in the far future. She talks about countries and experiences that are so foreign to me as if they were the neighborhood grocery store, with such familiarity and enthusiasm (yes she talks about food with the same excitement). Her career as a teacher drains her on a daily basis. She uses her talents and unending patience to teach special needs children and comes home with stories of her work days that would make my very worst days at the office seem like a tropical vacation on the isles of Hawaii, sipping on MaiTais and watching hula girls in grass skirts. She has 3 degrees and is almost finished her Masters program at UBC and aspires to become a student councilor, selflessly devoting her career to helping kids find their way in life. Even now, in the face of one of the most deadliest diseases in the world, she still smiles and jokes around, her soul full of spirit and the very example of a brave soldier. I admire her so much.

 

She’ll get better, she will. Her first treatment of chemotherapy was yesterday and she’ll have to undergo 5 more over the next several months. She’ll be weak and her immune system will be Hiroshima’d, but she’ll be strong again, well again. She’s too strong of a person to let a little thing like cancer bring her down. It’ll never happen to me, I once thought. I never expected it to happen to my sister, my family, someone so close to me. I’d donated to cancer funds before, ran in the Underwear Affair to help raise money for cancer research, but always was just doing those things for faceless strangers. As much as I don’t want it, I now have a face to run for, a name to put on my “I’m doing this for…” tag. My sister and I were reading a book on cancer last week and it stated 1 in 576000 will be struck by lightning, 1 in 67 people will die from a car accident and 1 in 3 will have cancer. Well, now I guess she doesn’t have to worry about being struck by lightning or dying in a car accident. She’s already paid her dues to the odds and she’ll beat it, all the while with a smile on her face and friends and family by her side.

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Random Thoughts

My biff Bonnie sent me this list today. I was reading through this and realized…”Hey, these are my thoughts! wth…” So I came to the conculsion that either she’s a mind reader and has been poking around in my subconscious or these random thoughts are shared by everybody. Though the first option seems more plausible, maybe other people have little moments too.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think
about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you’re wrong.

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going
in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going?
But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from
which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or
phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no
one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching
directions on the sidewalk.

-I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was
younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know”
feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to
be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix
the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to
fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just
figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

– LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to
say”.

– Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I
hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

– How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and
smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

– I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

– Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot.
Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s
G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”

– While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and i nstinctively
swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

– Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person
died.

-I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

– Bad decisions make good stories

– Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every
year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be
a problem….

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t
want to have to restart my collection.

-There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

– “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this
ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will
they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t
watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and
leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

– I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

– As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
-Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit. — THE ANSWER IS YES!!

My Favorite Quotes

Some people work hard now to play hard later, only to realize that while the brain is willing, the body is unable. 

Others play hard now with the thought to work hard later, only to come to the crossroads and realize that they’ve been left behind. 

The best mix is to play hard now and work hard now, to enjoy life if all of its different stages through the years 

With no sacrifice to yesterday or tomorrow. 

-me 

~~

The most successful people are the ones who have failed the most. 

No matter how many times you’ve failed, it won’t be your last. What’s the worst that could happen? Nobody ever died from failure. 

It’s the lack of action after failure that kills people. 

-David Needleman, ex CEO and founder JetBlue Airways, part of Southwest Airlines, WestJet, Azul, and Open Skies – 2002 

~~

The reasonable man adapts to the world. 

The unreasonable man makes the world adapt to him. 

Therefore all progress in the world rests with the unreasonable man. 

-George Bernard Shaw 

~~

Don’t just find a job. Find an opportunity. 

A job is just a job. 

But an opportunity can make you rich. 

-Simon Lu 

~~

Don’t get caught up being too much of a pleaser. I will try my best to keep others happy, 

So long as it doesn’t compromise my own happiness. 

-Brian Budd – Mentor 

 ~~

The international billion dollar corporation has a CEO. 

The beautiful model has a boyfriend. 

The international best selling novel has an author. 

This home has an owner. 

There is no goal that you want, that someone else has not yet achieved, deeming it possible. 

There is no goal that you want, that is unattainable, only perhaps in your mind.

Somebody’s gotta do it. Why not me? 

-me 

~~

New parents sometimes puts so much emphasis on being a good mother or father. 

They forget about being a good wife or husband. 

That’s why there are so many divorces today. 

You need balance. 

-Shannon Hamilton 

~~

Yesterday is History. 

Tomorrow is a Mystery. 

Today, today is a gift. 

That’s why it is called ‘Present’. 

-Sifu – Kung Fu Panda 

~~

Time is all we have. And you may find one day that you have less than you think. 

Randy Pausch (1960-2008) – Author: Last Lecture (Professor diagnosed with pancreatic cancer) 

-one of the best books I’ve read.