Alcoholic or Workoholic? Can I be both?!

Wow it’s been a busy month! It’s been a while since I posted so my apologies to all the blog readers who come expecting to see something. It’s disappointing I bet. Like going to the theatres expecting to watch a movie that you were waiting all week to go see and then having it be sold out. Then you have to figure out what to do now because you expected to spend the next 2 hours nomming on popcorn and spacing out watching some medieval guy cut up goblins (or watching some middle aged ladies try to recapture their youth by spending lots of money, sleeping with every guy under 30 and complaining about why they’re single. I mean, come on. It’s kind of obvious why you’re single. But in that case, maybe missing the movie is a good thing…) Either way! Sorry it’s been a while since my last posting. (maybe you don’t even care. you’re like…”wth, who’s this dude think he is comparing his blog to one of the best chick flicks ever…”)

I wish I could tell you that I travelled to the Bahamas and sipped on coconut juice while lounging on a hammock by the crystal blue and green ocean this past month. But I can’t, cuz I didn’t. I’ve eaten out alot this past month…is that worth mentioning? I love trying new restaurants; the ambiance, the food and service of somewhere new almost makes it like a mini-vacation in your own city as you’re experiencing something new. Other than eat out alot I havn’t really done much summery stuff. Alas, what I have to report as my reason of non-posting blog neglectance is that…*drum roll*… I’ve been working alot.

YAY…

Sad really, summers almost over and I havn’t done half of the things I wanted to do. But work hard and play hard I guess! (I’m just kidding…I don’t work or play hard…)

Enjoy the rest of your summer!

Dear Diary…

GIRL’S DIARY

TUESDAY 11th May 2010.

Saw John in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so I thought it might be that.

The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat.

All through dinner he just didn’t seem himself; he hardly laughed, and didn’t seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong.

He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in; he hesitated, but followed. I asked him again if there was something the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.

After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile. He didn’t follow me up, but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love.

He still seemed distant and a bit cold, and started to think that he was going to leave me, and that he had found someone else. I cried myself to sleep.

BOY’S DIARY

TUESDAY 11th May 2010.

Canucks lost the series to Hawks 4-2. Got laid though.

Free Mukmuk: the ‘other’ Olympic mascot

Pity Mukmuk. While his friends Quatchi, Miga and Sumi gallivant off everywhere entertaining children in the lead up to the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Games, Mukmuk the marmot is left to pick up the trash and tag along behind. For those of you who don’t know poor Mukmuk, he’s the virtual reality sidekick to the Vancouver 2010 mascots. He lives mainly in cyberspace. Well, cyber jail, really, because he doesn’t get out much.

Unlike his friends, who are real mascots, Mukmuk’s parents, the Vancouver Organizing Committee, see him as a pint-sized tag end whose place in the Games seems akin to an afterthought. The end of a sentence. Or, as they say in their literature: “Sidekick to the Vancouver 2010 Mascots.”

Sort of like “secretary to the president” or “official sweeper upper.”

Instead of being the Vancouver Island marmot that he is, Mukmuk has become something of a gofer. As in “Hey Mukmuk, go for this” or “go for that.” And the pity is, he’s the only real animal of the lot.

As a Vancouver Island marmot, he’s one of only an estimated 205 that have survived wolves, eagles and loggers. That makes him almost as rare as Quatchi the Sasquatch, Miga the “sea bear” and Sumi, the thunderbird-like “animal guardian spirit.”

I’ll bet many of you thought when Vanoc unveiled the mascots, “hey, what about that little guy at the end? Why isn’t he also going to be made into a toy?” At least now you can buy little MukMuks with the red olympic gloves at London Drugs. That sold out in about a day leaving tonnes of the “other mascot” toys around. Doesnt that say something?! The Mukster is popular! (or maybe they just stocked 1/8 of his toys vs the other ones.)

So far, all we’ve seen of the little furball is a cameo appearance in the video introduction of the Three Amigos. He’s the poor sod shivering on a mountain top, skiing down to Whistler on a para-ski thrown to him by Sumi, and handing the hot cocoa-drinking mascots an invitation to attend the 2010 Games. He’s had to bring up the rear every time The Officials head off anywhere, holding up a “We’re No. 1” mitt.

The only thing he’s missing is the broom with which to sweep up the confetti at the end of the tickertape parade. Oh, and he takes out the recycling. Vanoc gave him the job of throwing around boxes of recyclables like curling rocks in its interactive game “Operation Recycle” while the headliners lounge on the sidelines.

This is what I see Vanoc describing the little homie as: Mukmuk is a small and friendly Vancouver Island marmot who always supports and cheers loudly for his friends during games and races. When he is not hibernating or sunbathing on rocks and logs, he enjoys getting out to meet other types of marmots and animals. In fact, this is how he became friends with the Vancouver 2010 Olympic and Paralympic mascots.

They also say his hobbies are “eating, burrowing, eating, making friends, eating.” Sounds like me… but not a ringing endorsement of his capabilities, I’d say. Won’t get him any contracts for any other kind of work.

Even I’m not really sure what he is. I mean, I instinctively like him just because he’s the outcast (I have a soft spot for Kogepan too). I know he’s got great things going for him. But what does he like to do? What would he like to do if he was a full-fledged mascot? Where does he live, and with whom? What’s his favorite sport? Does he have any fears (like flying or getting caught while sunning himself on a log?) Apart from Quatchi, Miga and Sumi, who are his friends? Does he have any stories of his own he wants to tell? Poor little guy. All I know is that this Friday when the torch lights the last flame to start the Olympics, I’ll be cheering for Canada just as loud as the little dude.

Top Ten Fashion Mistakes a Girl Can Make From My POV: #6

Ok a little disclaimer to all my nammer friends! Don’t come chop me because of what I’m about to say. You probably know it’s true too in the back of your mind. Even though I’m talking about your mom, I mean it in the most respectful manner. And it’s not your specific mom I’m talking about, I’m just generalizing. So yes, don’t kill me. (I’m moving anyways, so you don’t where I live anymore. HA!) No just kidding. I’m not taunting. Don’t kill me.

Number 6: Done Out Nammer Moms

old-lady-tshirtI went out to Cactus this weekend and at the next table sat a Vietnamese mom and her 3 daughters. I’m a big fan of nammer girls as my buddys will tell you, something about the ‘I’ll kill you if you ever piss me off’ attitude mixed in with the ‘I’ll take care of you and make sure you’re happy’ combo. The complete killer psycho bitch and the caring motherly sweetheart, all mixed into one bowl of pho and spring roll combo. I don’t know, something about the attitude that gets me. But what I don’t get is the way they dress when they’re 50+ years old. Just like a 50+ year old man who wears his pants around his knees and a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket (*cough* Hoff), please dress appropriate to your age. No one wants to see your fake ricebowl implants surrounded by wrinkly skin and makeup painted on your face so heavily that in the morning you leave that face on your pillow. The mom at Cactus was more done out than all 3 of her teenage daughters! I love the bleached blonde hair too! Keep that up and by the time you’re 55, you’ll have to buy wigs cuz it’s all been peroxide’d dead clean. The most F’d up thing was one time I was at a club with my buddy one time and he was like “Hey my aunt is here, lets go drink with her.” I was thinking, maybe his young cousin’s mom who was in her early 20’s. But no, she was probably like 60 and decked out in skin tight Marciano tank, R&R skinny jeans and 5 inch stilettos. While my friend says it’s a hot look here, I think she meant for girls in their 20’s. I don’t know about you, but I’m traumatized enough when I run into my baby sister at the clubs. I’d probably hari kari myself if I saw my mom.

(Yes I know the picture isn’t of a Nammer Mom but hey, the shirt rocks)

Top Ten Fashion Mistakes a Girl Can Make From My POV: #7

helloneighborIt’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood,  A beautiful day for a neighbor,
Would you be mine? Could you be mine?

I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I’ve always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So let’s make the most of this beautiful day, Since we’re together, we might as well say,
Would you be mine? Could you be mine?  Won’t you be my neighbor?

Even when I was a little kid, I never watched this show. Mr. Rogers, sitting there, singing his song, asking for strangers to be his neighbor. It was kind of emo in a way, this middle aged man with grey hairs sitting by himself, tying up his shoes, crooning about how nice of a day it is to have a neighbor like me. I don’t know about you, but if my neighbor sat there singing to my (yet non-existant) kids about being “being mine”, I’d have to nail his doors and windows shut and burn his house down with him still inside. Then he wouldn’t think it’s such a beautiful day to have a neighbor just like me. Though the topper to Mr. Rogers that made him so wrong was his cardigan sweaters. It wasn’t a good look in the 80’s and it’s not a good look now.

Number 7: Button up tight Cardigan Sweaters

There’s a few times where this looks good but many times when it doesnt. It’s great for when you’re in the office, around the home and lazing around keeping warm and cozy. BuOriginalt anywhere else it’s just a boring look. It screams “I’M BORING…and lazy so I just put on a shirt with a cardigan sweater on top.” I’m not talking about the stylish ones, only the button up tight ones. They remind me of properness, prep school, uptight and should be paired with horn-rimmed glasses and a beehive hairdo. I even see kids wearing them and  thats not ok for any age. If you dress your kids in cardigan sweaters and they go to school and get beat up, it’s your fault. If Mr. Rogers sees your kid, he’ll say “wow that kid dresses like me so I’m going to kidnap them and make them mine.” Again, your fault. Don’t do it, don’t be mean to your kids. Those kids will grow up to be adults and continue to wear cardigan sweaters and the loop continues. End the insanity now.  Look this lady even got arrested for wearing a cardigan sweater and thats the way it should be…illegal.

Top Ten Fashion Mistakes a Girl Can Make From My POV: #8

I love Halloween. People dress up, they spend days planning and making their costumes (some Halloween enthusiasts spend months), and it’s a night where you can literally be anyone else or dress like anything and get away with it. Girls wear the skanky version of nurses, cops and Disney characters and look absolutely amazing. They dress up like vampires and pilots and one year my friend put on a gold catsuit and carried around a mini gold shovel and called herself a gold digger all night. Guys loved it. They were throwing their gold at her. I’m poor so I only threw a few quarters her way and maybe a shot of JD. How fun is it to party dressed as someone else and vicariously live through that costume for one night? Not only that but it’s amazing to see some of the costumes some people come up with for October 31st.  But what happens when you think Halloween is every day of the year?

Number 8: Fake Goths

Ok wow. I don’t know about this one. It’s not Comicon. Do you work? How do you find a job? Or do you just scare people new-goth-outfitout of their money all day long by scowling at them and threatening to kick them with your crazy thigh high buckled 5 inch heel boots? If you walked into my office looking for a job, I would turn you away. I would lock my doors so you couldn’t even speak to the receptionist. I understand that you are full of angst and torment, and that your life sucks and you want to express your deep down murderous rage for all people by dressing like a gay vampire, but maybe people would treat you nicer if you didn’t look like you wanted to rip the heads off of their cats and drink their blood. What do you do on Halloween? Do you dress normal to fool people? I bet at a Halloween goth party, you’re all dressed like preppies. And then I see the Goths who walk around smiling and laughing with their friends who are dressed normal. Ok, now that’s a fashion disaster. You’re not even Goth! You’re not even Emo! WTF. Do you dress like that for fun? At least the real ones have a semi-devil worshiping tendancy. But you, you’re just a wannabe gay vampire, and who wants to be a gay vampire?? Maybe you thought the boots were cool when they were on sale at Aldo warehouse. (They’re on sale for a reason, nobody wants them). They might look nice on a stripper in Vegas, but walking around Brentwood mall with your matching pleather long jacket just makes you look like an extra from Matrix. And that wasn’t even filmed here. And that was like 10 years ago. You’re not fooling anyone.